Of Gods and Magic
by Matthew Kaiser
Summary: On one of those days were boredom wears him out. Timmy wishes up some excitement. And as usual gets total chaos. Rated for: Language with mild and suggestive themes.
1. Chapter 1

It was just one of those days for Timothy. Crocker had assigned the class with a report on Greco-Roman mythology, and as usual he gave Timmy the hardest one. A thirty-thousand word report on the differences between the Greek and Roman deities. And as usual, Timmy was banging his skull against the table, drooling on a blank sheet of paper and ignoring a large stack of books about Greek and Roman mythology. This lack-lusterless caused his fairies to poof up in-front of him.

"Hey sport, what aren`t you doing?" Wanda asked, putting emphasis on the word aren`t.

"So board, can`t focus, mythology is lame." Timmy said.

"Cool! Let`s play the not study game!" Cosmo said.

Cosmo tossed Timmy`s work table and poofed up a v-cube entertainment center, complete with bean-bag chairs. Cosmo propped down on a chair and started losing at a video-game. Wanda frowned and dropped an anvil on Cosmo.

"I`d like too, but I can`t." Timmy said solemnly.

"How about we organize a study group?" Wanda suggested. "We could make flash-cards, check-out some books and videos about Rome and Greece, ooh we could even make an extra credit replica of Olympus.

Wanda`s eyes sparkled at her brilliance. Unfortunately Cosmo burst out from the Anvil wreckage with his own stupid (and soon to be deadly) idea.

"Or we could get a group of experts to give you the answer." Cosmo said.

"I like it!" Timmy said. "Cosmo, Wanda, poof me up a group of experts who have unlimited and unrivaled knowledge of Greek and Roman knowledge.

With a sigh and a glee the fairies waved their wands.

However, to find people with such knowledge to fulfill Timmy`s wish would not be easy. In fact Timmy`s universe would not be enough to even wet the wishes appetite, it would need to travel.

Into another dimension. A dimension where the mighty gods never aged and still some-what rule over the earth, though indirectly. A place where said gods have mated with mortals to birth rare, powerful and misfortune creatures called demigods or half-bloods. And the interesting twist was about to take place in one of the most regal and glorious places in the world, New York City, well technically Manhattan but you get the point. It was to be a celebratory event for seven conquering heroes. A son of Poseidon, A son of Hephaestus, a daughter of Athena, a daughter of Aphrodite, a son of Jupiter, a son of Mars and a daughter of Pluto.

Seven half-bloods who put their bodies and well-being along with mental sanity on the line to save the world from destruction.

"Welcome, great heroes." The goddess Artemis said. The half-bloods had been let onto Mt. Olympus for the victory party, Zeus smiled down on his son Jason as did Poseidon who smiled on his son Percy.

"Well...it seems...I was wrong." The god-king Zeus said, running his hands through his beard. "Once again, I must thank and I use that word...loosely, my brothers Poseidon and Hades and their Roman forms, I`m sure Jupiter will send Neptune and Pluto something nice."

Poseidon and Hades smiled smugly, enjoying the hefty humble pie Zeus was forced to eat. Zeus placed his hand on his wife`s shoulder.

"My dear wife," Zeus said. "I...appreciate your genius for gathering this small force, although...did you have to break my daughter`s leg again?"

Hera smiled and waved her hand dismissively. Zeus swallowed hard once more and was about to give out the rewards when an odd pink and green crystal coated, chocolate scented cloud swirled the demigods and made them disappear.

A stunned silence pierced the room. "Well...that happened." Apollo said.

The seven half-bloods woke up in a small blue room. When Percy opened his eyes the first thing he saw was a small boy dressed in a pink shirt and black pants, he wore a pink hat, he had brown hair, blue eyes and long bucked teeth.

"Hi, my name is Timmy Turner." Timmy said.

"What's up? My name Percy Jackson." Percy said.


	2. party of doom

The strangest part about being in an alternate universe, is having an alternate appearance. Leo for one was now a bit shorter, not as small as Timmy but still not as tall as he should. Frank`s muscles seemed bigger than normal and he was also a bit taller than normal. Piper, Hazel and Annabeth looked almost identical if it weren`t for their different hair and skin colors. As for Jason and Percy, they also looked similar except for Jason`s scar and blonde hair. Leo looked in the mirror and frowned at his appearance.

"Aw, I look so freakin goofy." Leo complained.

"At least you don`t look like a stereotype of an Asian Hulk." Frank said.

"More importantly where are we?" Jason asked. "It`s so colorful and...cuddly here...I hate it."

"Yes, of course I can tell you, thanks for asking." Timmy said feeling ignored.

All the half-bloods turned and looked down at the tiny boy in pink, his buck teeth standing out way too much.

"So...where are we?" Percy asked.

"You`re in Dimmsdale, my home-town, and this is just a question no need for a real answer but, I`m guessing you guys are experts on Greek and Roman mythology."

Before anyone could answer an angry German voice yelled "TURNER!" and an atomic explosion appeared. After the explosion a tall buff guy dressed in military camouflage appeared. He had a wand almost his size and a white military buzz-cut and oddly enough a tiny crown above his head.

"Ares!" Percy yelled, ripping out rip-tide.

"Mars!" Jason said kneeling.

"Dad?" Frank said skeptically.

"TURNER!" Jorgen yelled.

"Valdez!" Leo said. Everyone stared at Leo as he walked away silently.

"Timmy Turner, you`ve gone too far this time!" Jorgen yelled. "I let it go when you brought the kid with big hair into our dimension, but I have a strict deal with lord Zeus that demigods are not allowed in our world!"

"What`s a demigod?" Timmy asked.

"Oh that`s easy we are children of gods and mortals." Annabeth said.

"Go on." Timmy said writing down their conversation.

Jorgen face-palmed as finally realized what was going on.

"You brought them here because you were too lazy to do you`re own home-work, didn`t you? DIDN`T YOU?" Jorgen said.

"Maybe." Timmy said.

"I`m coming back here in an hour, send them back, or else." Jorgen said menacingly.

Jorgen disappeared in another atomic explosion with the words **PAIN** being plastered into his floor.

"Jeez, and I though Zeus and Ares over do it with their exits." Percy said.

"And...they do this a lot?" Timmy asked.

"Oh of course, Zeus teleports away in flashes of lightning and Ares usually teleports in red flashes." Percy said. "Although I have to admit Hephaestus appearing in a column of flames is pretty impressive."

"Fascinating," Timmy said. "Now, what exactly are the other gods like?"

"Well, Poseidon and Neptune are the most awesome and-"

Annabeth cut Percy off with her own opinions "Percy, we have to get back before that big guy kills this kid." Annabeth said. "By the way, are you a half-blood?"

"I thought you were demigods?" Timmy said.

Before anyone could answer, Cosmo, Wanda and Poof appeared out of no-where. After the first shock, the demigods became full of questions.

"What are you?" Jason asked.

"I`m Cosmo." Cosmo said. "And I`m Wanda." Wanda said. "And we`re...FAIRY GOD PARENTS! poof,poof." The fairies said in unison.

Every stared and blinked before bursting out in laughter. "Fairy good parents, whoever heard of something so unbelievable?" Leo said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"This coming from the half human, half god." Timmy said.

Everyone stopped laughing and the girls started wooing over poof.

"Oh, he`s so cute." Piper said.

"Yeah, he was totally worth the forty-four hours of labor I went through." Cosmo said. Everyone`s eyes went wide with horror.

"Okay...gross, anyway we have to get back to our Mt. Olympus." Jason said. "We`ve got this big party to go to and-"

"Party!" Cosmo yelled, lifting his wand.

"Cosmo NO!" Timmy yelled.

But it was too late as Cosmo poofed them back to Percy`s dimension. More specifically to the throne room of Mt. Olympus, Cosmo poofed himself into a green toga and began chanting party.

The chanting continued and eventually Apollo joined in saying party and so did Aphrodite.

"STOP THAT!" Hades yelled.

Apollo and Aphrodite sat down as Cosmo flew around the room asking for hive-fives. Poseidon looked amused as Zeus and Dionysus were rather, offended by Cosmo asking them to pull his finger.

"Son what is this?" Zeus demanded.

"These are fairies and their son." Jason said. Timmy however was poorly hiding behind Percy.

"It`s okay little guy, hey you even look taller." Percy coaxed.

It was true, Timmy was now the height of an average ten year-old and had grown into his teeth, his pink clothing were now pinker and his brown hair banged over his left eye, so Timmy had to keep blowing it up.

"Wait a minute, what is your name mortal?" Zeus asked.

"Um...T-Timmy Turner sir." Timmy squeaked.

"Ah, Jorgen warned me about you." Zeus said.

"Oh you mean that angry German fairy?" Poseidon asked.

"Yes...well I suppose I could let this go as nothing has happened, now then let us, celebrate." Zeus said, clapping his hands.

A few minuets later the throne room had turned into a huge party, the nine muses cranking out whatever anyone wanted to hear. Dionysus made party food appear out of no where as he walked side-by-side with his wife. The goddesses began obsessing over the cuteness of poof while Cosmo acted like a party animal with the minor gods. Wanda and Annabeth had an intelligent conversation about architecture while Timmy just tried to avoid everyone.

"Come on pink kid, live a little." Leo said, surprising Timmy.

"Well okay, maybe I could play a game." Timmy said.

Timmy scanned the room looking for a game when he spotted a line to the "throw the javelin" game. Timmy walked over and picked up a small pink Javelin. Wanda noticed this and flew over to stop it.

"Timmy no!" Wanda yelled.

Timmy through the javelin but it bounced of the target and sailed toward Zeus. Timmy`s face turned to pure horror and yelled "LOOK OUT GOD!" Zeus turned around and the javelin struck his pocket and caused the master-bolt to drop. The punctured bolt began shooting lightning bolts that blasted the palace`s roof off and the hearth to erupt. The floor began to erupt as Mt. Olympus began sailing toward the earth, leaving a crater that wiped out half of New York.

After the ruble everyone glared down at Timmy as Zeus just stood in the middle of the ruble, his suit torn and his electric blue eyes twitching with shock.

"What did you do?" Percy asked silently.

"Well, thanks for inviting me and, whoa look at the time, I got to...bye!" Timmy said as Wanda poofed them back to Timmy`s room.

"Ah yes, back to my realm, where the mighty Greek lords cannot find me." Timmy said smugly.

As if on queue an explosion of electric, tidal and umbra energy erupted and Timmy turned to find his throat at the mercy of Zeus, Poseidon and Hades.

"I...am going to kill you." Zeus said quietly.


	3. Trial by bull

"I just have one question." Timmy asked.

Zeus, Poseidon and Hades didn`t lower their weapons, but they did allow the boy to ask his question.

How did you guys find me?" Timmy asked.

"WE are all-powerful immortal beings!" Zeus yelled. "You are a simple-minded mortal boy! Do not try to figure out our all-powerful ways."

"Jorgen told us where you live." Hades said.

Zeus rubbed his palm across his face and stared Hades, dead in his eye.

"Don`t undermine me in front of the boy." Zeus said.

Poseidon grunted and his brothers returned to their threatening way. Zeus snapped his fingers and Timmy`s house shifted into an Olympic style court-house. The jury`s box appeared in lacquered oak and gold. On jury duty were, Ares, Hera, Demeter, Aphrodite, Artemis, Apollo, Athena of course and Hermes. Hephaestus appeared in an oversized police out-fit, an iron war-hammer the size of a bull appeared on his back. The plaintiff and defendant platforms appeared in simple platinum color. Zeus wore his best pin-stripped suit and Poseidon appeared in a green lawyer`s suit, complete with a sea-green silk tie.

Zeus and the jury glared daggers, literally daggers, at Timmy who looked like he was trying to become invisible again. Percy, Jason, and Wanda appeared in lawyer out-fits while everyone else sat behind them.

"Wait a minute, Percy and Jason are my lawyers?" Timmy asked.

"Yes, Zeus wants this as rigged as possible so...here we are." Percy said.

"All rise!" Hephaestus shouted. Everyone stood. "The honorable lord Hades presiding."

Hades appeared in the Judge`s seat, a pair of silver glasses on his face and regal judge robes with faces of he damned trying to escape.

"Why is Hades the judge?" Timmy asked out of disbelief.

"Honestly...he really is the only one qualified." Poseidon said. The other gods frowned in response.

"Enough, today is March the seventeenth two-thousand and thirteen." Hades said. "We are here on the case of the Olympians vs. Timothy Turner-"

"GUILTY! THIS LITTLE BASTARD IS GUILTY!" Zeus yelled.

"Shut ass-hole, no one interrupts me!" Hades said, shooting a bolt of black energy at Zeus. The god-king deflected it and Cosmo turned to ash, though he reformed a minute later.

"As I was saying, Timothy T. Turner you are being accused of complete destruction of property, as in the entire kingdom of the gods." Hades said. "How to you plead?"

"Our client pleads not-that-guilty" Wanda said.

"But he totally did it." Jason said. "And he will die if he is found guilty." Percy said. "Do you really want that on your conscience."

Jason thought about it then decided to say no.

"Very well, now then, what is your evidence Poseidon?" Hades said.

Poseidon stepped forward, a case file in his hand.

"Your honor, we were all enjoying our biggest victory since the second Titan war, when this boy decides to crash our party." Poseidon said. Everyone else nodded in agreement. "Now we all know, no mortals are ever allowed on our sacred kingdom, so I propose this question, did you come to our lands with the heinous intention of destroying it?"

"Objection, my client is an idiot." Wanda said.

"Ah but is it not true he did something like this, to this world`s Olympians?" Poseidon asked.

"Objection, they were idiots." Wanda said.

Poseidon paced towards Wanda, put on a pair of shades then took them off dramatically.

"Will this be your answer for everything?" The god asked.

"More than likely." Wanda said.

"No more questions." Poseidon said.

"Little boy, what is your defense?" Hades asked.

Timmy stood there for a while. He tapped his chin, stared at Percy than Jason. Their reassuring smiles made him nervous. Finally the small boy in pink stood up, ready to give his answer.

"Um, um, it was the internet." Timmy said.

"So it was YOU!" Hera said, pointing an accusing finger at Hermes.

The messenger god`s face fell into his hand at the queen`s stupidity.

"Permission to smash her with my hammer?" Hephaestus asked.

Hades rubbed his chin, then shook his head. "It would be too easy."

Hades looked down at Timmy, his eyes a steely cold black. Hades stuck out his finger and his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"_SOUL JUDGEMENT!_" The lord of death said. A black stream of energy shot from his pale finger and enveloped Timmy with it.

After a few minuets everything returned to normal, Hades scratched his chin and looked at everyone in the room, before finally giving his verdict.

"My...family." Hades said, trying to force out the words. "As it turns out we cannot bring death upon this boy, his life-force is tied to this world. If he dies, it dies along with him, as deities, we have no place to do this."

Everyone murmured a bit and Timmy turned as white as a sheet.

"My life...keeps this world together, that`s...way too much." Timmy said.

"So as punishment, he shall give you all hospitality and allow you to live with him until Olympus is completely restored." Hades said.

Almost at one everyone jumped up in protest. "Out rage!" Athena yelled. "blasphemy!" Artemis said.

"Why can't we live with Poseidon?" Zeus asked.

"My palace is still in repair." Poseidon said. "And your homes were destroyed, not mine." Hades said, gloating about the 'your' part.

Before Zeus could respond Hades waved and disappeared in a cloud that said **LOSERS**. Zeus snarled then smirked, the god-king snapped his fingers and a loud explosion was heard. Hades reappeared coughing up smoke and looking at Zeus. Zeus smiled in complete innocence.

"My brother, I sure hope that wasn't your house, I guess you`ll have to stay with us." Zeus said.

Hades smiled whole-heartedly before tackling Zeus, trying to strangle him with his own beard.

"Annabeth, go rebuild our palace, and stay away from Jackson." Athena said. Athena sent them away before they could protest. Wanda joined them in an eager haste.

Everyone turned down to look at Timmy. "Well boy, looks like were room-mates." Hades said.


End file.
